MY RED-NECK CAMPING WEEKEND: Out Beyond Oakridge

A sign (or portent) of things to come?

My uncle Rico, brother Kip and I escaped from work early on a Friday and headed south as far as Eugene. Turning east, we made it as far as Oakridge before we found it necessary to stop for beer.

The Union Brewery features beer, of course, but also a menu uniquely accented with Spam entrees.

Curiously, there is a chart over the men’s urinal that details the thermodynamic conductivity of several types of wire…and Spam (surprisingly, Spam holds up pretty well).

Uncle Rico

Deb: Okay, turn you head on more of a slant... 

Deb: Now, make a fist. Slowly ease it up underneath your chin. 

Deb: This is looking really good. 

Kip: You can say that again. 

Deb: Kay, hold still right there. Now, just imagine you're weightless, in the middle of the ocean, surrounded by tiny little seahorses. 

Deb: [takes the picture] That was the one. I think that's gonna come out really nice. 

Uncle Rico: Ah, how you did it... wow... well I felt really relaxed. Thanks Deb. 

                                

Uncle Rico: You're up Kip. 

Kip

 Kip: Is there some kind of vest that I can wear? 

- Dialogue from Twentieth Century Fox’s movie, Napoleon Dynamite 

I thought it took a long time for our two vehicle convoy to span the distance from Portland to Oakridge, but (long, long after sunset) when Uncle Rico finally found the turn-off to his little known campsite, it all paled into insignificance as Kip and I followed Rico's Jeep down overgrown forest service roads laid out in what I’ll generously describe as a diabolical labyrinth.  Scrubby moth infested pines loomed out of the darkness, reaching car-ward with menacing, abrasive branches…as if we had entered a car wash from hell.

Gratuitous giant bonfire

The milky way  (~4 minute exposure)

Morning revealed that we were camped next to a vast alpine marsh, though not so marshy at this time of year.

The water was cold and clear and beneath the surface a whole world danced and undulated in concert with the current.

Kip kept peering into the water and claiming to see big fish. Uncle Rico could see them too…and then to prove it, would catch them. But I never saw any until Rico reeled them out of the water. “You can’t see the fish so much as you can see their shadows.” Kip explained to me.

Here and there, archipelagos of drowned trees testified to former high water levels.

A fence at a bend in the creek seems poorly placed.

The underwater ballet can be hypnotizing 

Kip, practicing to be a cage fighter, refines his sense of balance.

scott and his trusty Tsunami      photo by Kip (all rights reserved)

It amazes me how big these bullets are.

If you were being attacked by a zombie who was trying to throw a propane tank at you, would you aim at the zombie or the propane tank?

A careful scientific investigation reveals…

…that you might be better off shooting directly at the zombie’s head since a dramatic explosive fireball with shrapnel can’t be guaranteed.

Uncle Rico cooks a fresh trout dinner.

‘Celebrate the Gorge’ Photography Exhibition Epilogue

Previously, I presented the two images that were not accepted into the August photography exhibition at the Columbia Art Gallery (http://www.columbiaarts.org/art-gallery.html).

Now that the ‘Celebrate the Gorge’ exhibit is over, I think it’s safe to post the three images that were ‘invited’ to the show.

 Sunrise on Miller Island

 A New Way to ‘Take’

 Looking East

It was my friend Bernadette who encouraged me to enter the show after she saw the ‘Looking East’ photo in my blog post, Cape Horn: What’s In a Name? http://thenarrativeimage.blogspot.com/2010/05/cape-horn-whats-in-name.html

The water-level shot pointed up the gorge from the vicinity of the Cape Horn formations seemed to strike a resonant chord within her, perhaps because she also is an enthusiastic kayaker. In any case, she insisted I enter – that picture in particular – and though I wasn’t quite sure how one would go about preparing digital files for a gallery exhibition, I figured it couldn’t hurt to try. Besides, I wouldn’t have to print and frame the images unless they made it past the jury.

The opening for the show was on a Friday. Management at work turned out to be supportive of my attempted venture into the world of photography and let me leave early so I could make it to Hood River in time for the opening. On the way, I got a phone call, purporting to be from the gallery. The spokesperson for the gallery told me that the judges had liked my photos and that I had received the first place ribbon as well as the Gorge Guide award (Gorge Guide magazine was one of the sponsors of the show). I was pretty sure this phone call was a deception masterminded by my brother, so I tried to keep my emotions in check until I was sure it was real.

 My brother greeting me with the special 

respect he typically reserves for me

When I got to Hood River, I nervously peeked into the gallery windows to see if the phone call could possibly have been authentic.

 Photo courtesy of Sgt. Rock

Turns out…it was.

 Photo courtesy of Bernadette’s iphone

Photo courtesy of Bernadette’s iphone

1^st Place: Scott Dietz, “Sunrise on Miller Island”

2^nd Place: Lauri Streaker, “Cloud Cap II”

3^rd Place: Richard Hallman, “View from the Syncline”

Honorable Mention: Gerard Smith, “The Climbers”

Honorable Mention: Laurie Black, “Gorge Forms”

Honorable Mention: Darryl Lloyd, “Balfour-Klickitat in December”

Honorable Mention: Mike Godsey, “Mild & Wild”

Gorge Guide Award: Scott Dietz, “Sunrise on Miller Island”

People’s Choice Award: Mark Lee, “Gorge Morning”

This is the 2010 edition of the Gorge Guide http://gorgeguide.com/ . As part of the Gorge Guide Award, apart from the monetary award, ‘Sunrise On Miller Island’ will be featured in the 2011 edition of the magazine.

 Photo courtesy of Bernadette’s iphone

My mom and my brother were able to attend the opening with me.

As I walked around the exhibit, examining all the other entries – stunned by bold colorful images, novel presentations and technical expertise - I began to feel a little bit like Wayne and Garth standing before Alice Cooper… 

 Wayne’s World    “We’re not worthy”    Paramount Pictures

The opening, like I said before, was on a Friday. But this particular Friday also happened to be concurrent with something the folks in Hood River call First Friday. It was like a giant art, food, music, retail sales and community pride fair or festival.

Transforming a street into a ski slope

It was a good day.

COOPER SPUR HAIKU - MT.HOOD, OREGON

Calm and peaceful hike

But I have to ask myself

Why are trees hiding?

Spring’s promise of life

Takes on sarcastic shadings

Before fall’s hammer

A blanket melted

One of life’s loopholes exposed

Deep-cover agents

Puffy land-clouds float

Hide their dangerous orange teeth

Until the sun sets

Absentee ‘landlord’

Occasionally peeks down

“Now what have they done?”

Stacked layers recede

Layer after layer like

Some Japanese print

Warm air envelope

Nurturing my slow ascent

Laughs and disappears

Cold knives slice at clothes

At the edge of the moraine

And yet we linger

Why put these dreamscapes

In a land where nothing lives

Where only fools see?

The shadow stretches

From this vast mountain sundial

Marking time for stars

Celebrate the Gorge Photography Exhibition @ Columbia Art Gallery

Miller Island Dawn

Three of my photographs have been selected for the Celebrate the Gorge Photography Exhibition. I don't think I'm supposed to show them here, so these are the two photographs I submitted that they didn't select.

Crown Point 

This is the Press Release:

For Immediate Release: July 26, 2010

Re: Columbia Art Gallery Show Opening

Contact: Columbia Center for the Arts

Catherine Kiewit, Gallery Manager

215 Cascade Avenue

Hood River, OR 97031

541 387-8877 gallery@columbiaarts.org www.columbiaarts.org

Celebrate the Gorge Photography Exhibition to open at Columbia Art Gallery on First Friday, August 6th

The Columbia Art Gallery will host the first Celebrate the Gorge Photography Exhibition, set to run from Friday, August 6th through Sunday, August 29th. The Show Opening and Artist Reception commence Friday, August 6th, from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m.

Works of 22 Northwest photographers will showcase the beauty, grandeur and character of the Columbia River Gorge region, including Mount Hood and Mount Adams.

A panel of three jurors selected 55 images from 95 submitted. Gallery manager, Catherine Kiewit said, “We were fortunate to have so many wonderful photographs to choose from. They really capture the diversity of landscapes in the Gorge area. It will be a great show!”

Gorge area photographers are well-represented. They are Judi Baker, Laurie Streaker, Chris Smith, Darryl Lloyd, Meridith Meskin, Stephen Datnoff, Blaine Franger, Christine Meade, Richard Hallman from Hood River and Linda Mcnaughton from Parkdale. From White Salmon are Laurie Black, Mike Godsey and Donna Sholtis, from Stevenson, Joanna Grammon, and from Bow, Dick Garvey.

Editors Note: I don't get mentioned here because I'm not technically a gorge area photographer.

 The selection process began as a competition, open to professionals and amateurs nationwide. Entries were submitted on the website, CallForEntries.org. Images shot both digitally and on film were accepted for consideration, including black-and-white, hand-tinted and stitched panoramas. Digital enhancement was allowed only to achieve realistic color balance and sharpness.

The three jurors were Peter Marbach, distinguished Oregon photographer; Carol York, founder and former editor of GorgeGuide Magazine; and Catherine Kiewit, manager of the Columbia Art Gallery.

Cash prizes will be awarded for First, Second and Third Place. Sponsors of the show are Gorge Guide® Magazine and Shortt Supply footwear and athletic apparel, both of Hood River.

The gallery is located at 3rd and Cascade in downtown Hood River, and is open daily, from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. For more information visit our website at www.columbiaarts.org or 541-387-8877.

...just saying...

...in case you happen to be passing through...